Manchester United - Arsenal Match Preview

"Bad luck old chap."

Oh what a difference a season makes! This time last year United were nine points clear of us and I was swallowing sadness as my former hero was scoring traitorous goal after traitorous goal for them.  Olivier Giroud was still struggling to find his feet and Arsenal fans knew that despite some good additions to the squad in the form of Santi Cazorla and Lukas Podolski, we weren't title-challengers.  United had beaten us on their turf in a game where we were completely dominated and our captain was even kind enough to gift van Persie the opening goal.

Fast forward a year and the fortunes of both clubs have changed dramatically... United are the team being mocked from all sides, the all-conquering Sir Alex Ferguson stepped down and was replaced by Moyes, whose summer transfer activity and slow start certainly hasn't endeared him to the Old Trafford faithful.  Arsenal on the other hand sit proudly on top of the table after their best start to the season in many years and their most eye-catching transfer of all time.

A few words on Robin van Persie then... even now, more than a year after his transfer, I struggle to mention him without spouting out a string of the crudest expletives that I can muster.  I adored the man, I loved watching him in an Arsenal shirt and his departure hurt me more than that of any former player.  Call me bitter but I want to see the man fail; I want to see pain and regret in his eyes as often as possible and there is no better opportunity than this Sunday to show what a terrible decision he made.  Although he was firing on all cylinders this time last year and Olivier Giroud still looked a bit lost, a glance at their figures this season suggests that we have found a more than adequate replacement:

These figures take into account League and Champions League Football and as you can see the two strikers are tied on goals but you can also see Giroud has been superior to van Persie in almost every other department, although to be fair van Persie is playing in a much weaker team (snigger).  While he may not have van Persie's eye for the spectacular, that ability to create something out of nothing; Giroud creates so many more chances and brings a lot more to the team.  I would hazard a guess that the Arsenal midfielders prefer playing with Giroud.

One area that we certainly should have the better of United on Sunday is the midfield, where United look far from convincing and Arsenal have an embarrassment of riches.  No one man typifies Arsenal's turnaround more than Aaron Ramsey and it so easily could have been very different if he had joined United instead of Arsenal.  Fortunately for us, Arsène Wenger convinced young Aaron that he was the man to develop him into a world-class midfielder.  What the two of them have achieved together is remarkable - Arsène has shown an outstanding ability to nurture talent through his career but Ramsey could prove to be his greatest success story - to mentor him following his horror injury at the hands of the Orcs, to see past his poor form last season and to extend his contract and to guide him to where he is now is just remarkable.

United's attack is of course very strong.  Whereas Ferguson would often deploy a five-man midfield against us with largely successful results I expect Moyes to play both Rooney and van Persie on Sunday. It's an intimidating strike force but we can be very much encouraged by impressive clean sheets against Napoli, Tottenham, Liverpool and Dortmund.  

As Carl gleefully pointed out in his excellent preview, our recent record at Old Trafford makes grim reading. We may be brought crashing down to earth by that traitorous Dutch helmet and co. but we are more than good enough to really kick them while they are down and complete a fantastic week's work with a most satisfying victory.  While we can never underestimate United, I can't remember the last time I felt so optimistic before a game against them.  I would love it... I would just love it...

Prediction:
Manchester United 0-1 Arsenal


If you missed it, do please give Carl's preview (from a United fan's perspective) of the game a look.  It really is an excellent read.

Behind Enemy Lines: Manchester United - Arsenal preview... from a United perspective

My sincere thanks to Carl for braving Gooner territory to preview this game for The Gun Show. It's interesting to hear what fans of the opposition have to say on our team as well as their own, particularly when they support United and their team is looking a bit mince. Over to you, Carl...

Impressions of Arsenal

Growing up as a Manchester United fan in the all conquering 90’s, Arsenal were the first team to truly challenge our unequivocal dominance. Being accustomed to success, the triumph of Wenger’s team in 1998 came as a shock to the system. The broody mix of Gallic power and craft along side an ageing rock of defenders pierced United’s invincibility.  Then followed the extraordinary mix of pace and skill of the Henry–Pires era, which was frighteningly good, and made me sick to my stomach watching.

The demise of Arsenal over the last ten years is akin to seeing a once swaggering lothario, who you grudgingly respected, slowly succumbing to alcoholism. Trudging wildly from one embarrassment to the next, the 8-2 defeat being the nadir where said lotahrio turned up pissed at a wedding, punched the groom, then fell on the cake, losing the once held respect of everyone in the room. It’s a darkly amusing, yet sorry sight. It came to a point when looking at the scoreboard that day that I actually felt sorry for Arsène. That is a thought that, from a United fan, should strike shame into any Arsenal supporter.

This season I’ve started hating Arsenal again. They seem to have finally formed some kind of identity and balance to the side and have grown in confidence with their big name ‘Galactico’. I still think they lack that second key striker and a couple of back-up centre backs to truly challenge for the league. You could see them losing a couple of games around Christmas and the whole thing falling apart again. That would be a shame in some sense, as they’ve only just got back on the wagon.

Thoughts on David Moyes

The main problem for David Moyes is his face. There’s not really a lot he can do about that; it’s his face. But I believe it has caused him no end of trouble.  He seems to have two main facial expressions. First is his gormless, crooked grin stare, which was largely seen early on in pre-season when posing for badly judged PR shots. The one of him sat behind the desk at Carrington with a does-this-chair-fit, work placement posture was particularly cringe inducing. The second is his befuddled, angry stare. It’s the kind of stare you’d have if you’d just walked into the living room to find your dog dry humping the chaise longue [I had to google this.  You learn something new every day - ed]. This scowl doesn’t project any sense of control; it just makes him look baffled and frustrated.

Of course it is ludicrous to suggest that Moyes facial signals have a huge contributing factor in how United perform on the pitch. But knowing how well the media like to weave narratives, particularly the ‘downfall of United’ story they have been waiting so patiently for, a picture of Moyes’ troubled expression on the touchline lends particularly well next to an ‘end is nigh’ headline.  This perception slowly feeds through to the players, and they immediately have a get-out clause for a bad performance. I’m only half joking here.

Moyes is an above-average manager. He hasn’t proven anything otherwise in his career to date. Of course he has a chance to disprove it now, but there is no evidence to suggest he will. Above-average managers can win trophies with good teams: Mancini and Houlier are two recent cases in point. But they don’t win Champions Leagues that often and they certainly don’t usher in, or continue, periods of dominance.  And that’s fine in some sense; all periods of dominance eventually end. What’s important is that in 5 years time Manchester United are still in a position to compete at the top. And unless it goes catastrophically wrong over the next few years (with the Glazers at the helm, don’t discount it) they probably will be. Whether that will be with Moyes or someone else may depend on how quickly he can get a face coach.

Key battles

A big question for United is whether both RVP and Rooney play. Van Persie's absence from the starting line up midweek would point to him starting, and with United having home advantage they will probably both play. Against Arsenal's vibrant midfield Moyes may be tempted to go with three in midfield but given Rooney's form he'll be a vital big game asset.

The pairing of Cleverly and Jones in centre midfield against Fulham, while both are shaky in possession, gives United much more mobility than with the leaden-footed Fellani, and gives Rooney the freedom to break forward more often. Carrick's fitness is a real concern as he is far and away the best passer; his pinpoint passing from deep will be key to getting the ball quickly to Rooney and the channels, instigating a bursting attack. Arsenal may get lots of possession high up the pitch so this will be a key route of attack for United.

One of the few plus points for United this season, along with Rooney's return to form, has been the improvement of Patrice Evra. His drive and overlapping runs have been a real outlet on the left. More often in recent seasons his surging bursts have led to a disappointing end product, but so far this season he has assisted 3 goals. In Sagna he has a worthy opponent, and with the likelihood it will be Kagawa on the left alongside Evra, who will be keen to drift inside, it is a battle Sagna should edge.

What the game will tell us about Manchester United.

As with all games against the big sides this early on in the season, they only really mean anything retrospectively.  However, if United lose they will be 11 points behind Arsenal. A Fergie-led United side would sneer at that feeble challenge, like a boxer allowing his opponent some free shots in the early rounds to gain confidence, and then pummelling them into submission later on. But this is a disjointed, confused Manchester United side. That swagger and confidence has now been called into question.

And make no mistake, the big battle for United this season will be to finish above Arsenal. With Man City looking like clear favourites, finishing above Arsenal will probably mean 2nd or 3rd and will be an on par performance for Moyes this season. It would be the acceptable ‘transition’ season to build from. So what would a victory against Arsenal on Sunday tell us about that possibility?  In the last season Arsenal finished above United, back in 2005, United won 2-0 at Old Trafford and romped to a 4-2 win at Highbury. Since 2005 United have won eight of their Premier League meetings to Arsenal’s four. In the last three seasons where Arsenal have won (twice in 2006-07, once in2008-09 and 2010-11), United have gone on to win the league. So if the recent stats tell us anything (and they don’t), a losing team will ultimately prosper.

Prediction

1-1

Arsenal have a deceptively poor recent record at Old Trafford. Their memorable title winning victories of 1998 and 2002 hide the fact that they have only three wins at Old Trafford in Premier League history, and they have never won by a scoreline greater than 1-0. The one time they scored more than once at Old Trafford in the Premier League they lost 8-2. In that sense Sunday could prove a substantial opportunity to put a marker down for Arsenal; that a new regime at Old Trafford serves as a precedent to disregard their poor Old Trafford form.

Arsenal will want to prove their title credentials but avoid defeat and United will want to keep their tame unbeaten run going. United will hopefully learn the lesson of their hammering at the hands of City and keep it much tighter between midfield and defence.


Check back again on Saturday if you would like to read the Gun Show's very own Arsenalcentric, van Persie-slating preview of the game...

Borussia Dortmund 0-1 Arsenal Match Report

In terms of results, last night's game was certainly one of Arsenal's greatest European nights. Dortmund have become one of the most formidable and highly regarded teams in Europe. Their home form is spectacular, better than any other team in Europe's top leagues... unfortunately for them though they came up against a ruthless Gunners side whose away form is equally impressive.

Before the game, a huge amount of respect was exchanged between the two bosses with Klopp even referring to our manager as Sir Arsène Wenger. Dortmund showed their class by putting their former star, Tomas Rosicky's shirt from the first game in their museum. As the teams emerged into the stadium to the yellow wall of 80,000 fans it was easy to see why Klopp described his club as "worth falling in love with."

That respect continued into the first half with the Arsenal players, seemingly having learnt their lesson from the first game, careful not to commit too many men forward and leave themselves open. Dortmund's pressing was relentless and impressive - it's hard to recall many matches where our midfielders have had so much trouble imposing themselves on the game and Arteta in particular looked frustrated. At half time, we hadn't managed a single shot and sneaking a win seemed unlikely. Keeping a clean sheet also seemed like a very tall order after narrow misses by Subotic and Mkhitaryan.  Before the game, Klopp had spoke of the serenity of Arsenal but I for one felt very far from serene in that first half.

If we were hoping that the balance of play would change in the second half, the first ten minutes suggested it wouldn't. Such was the speed and intensity of Dortmund's pressure, it felt as though they had a couple of extra players.

Miraculously, shortly after the hour mark, something rather wonderful happened - after some good work from Rosicky, Mesut Özil lofted a cross to Olivier Giroud who expertly nodded the ball into the path of Aaron Ramsey whose brave header gave us the only goal of the game and a vital three points.  He had been working tirelessly alongside Arteta to help shield the back four, finding almost no opportunities to get forward but obviously got bored of not scoring for an hour or so and decided to rectify that.  This quite brilliant GIF shows the reaction of the Dortmund fans.

It was a very lonely night for Olivier Giroud but he worked hard throughout and his superb assist for Ramsey was a great example of what he brings to the team.  I read a stat after the weekend that Robin van Persie had created just five chances in nine games whereas Giroud had created seventeen in ten games.  Since then, Robin van F*ckyouIneverlovedyouanyway missed a penalty and Giroud provided an assist for a match winner in Dortmund.  While it would be a stretch to say Giroud is as talented, he certainly brings an awful lot to the team and is far superior to that traitorous Douche in many ways.

Robert Lewandowski is of course an excellent player - full of clever movement, hard work and clinical in front of goal, but my goodness what a helmet that man is! Very lucky to be playing after an elbow on Koscielny in London, he slid through the back of Aaron Ramsey in the first half, spent the 2nd half trying to get our lego-haired skipper sent off and after a great Rosicky challenge indulged in some play-acting that Ashley Young would have been ashamed about... I joke, I joke - Ashley Young has no shame.  It's seems a pity though that Lewandowski will almost definitely follow Mario Götze's footsteps to Bayern in the summer.

Despite his obvious talents, Lewandowski and his team-mates were unable to break down a very disciplined and organised Arsenal back line.  Koscielny was terrific and Per Mertesacker alongside him was my man of the match - he was absolutely immense, as he has been for quite some time.  He has been so underrated for so long - it always amazes me when people express their doubts about him - he just oozes class through the way he reads the game, his positioning and decision-making, the way that he doesn't just win defensive headers but works out long in advance who to head the ball to.   The team defensive performance was all the more impressive given that Dortmund has scored in 60 of 61 of their last home games.  We finished last season by grinding out narrow wins and conceding very few goals.  We drew on those performances last night and it is so encouraging to have kept clean sheets in big games this season against the likes of Sp*rs, Liverpool, Napoli and now Dortmund.

"Sometimes it was like they were defending with four legs." - Jurgen Klopp

I'm not sure that last night was quite a symphony of beautiful football but it was certainly a great result - one that will no doubt have raised some eyebrows across Europe and it puts us in with an excellent chance of qualification from an extremely difficult group.  After the game, Arsène praised his side's focus and maturity which contrasted nicely from our naivety in the last Dortrmund game.  A friend texted last night to say he thought it was our most impressive result in years.  My reply was "until Sunday..."


Man of the Match: Per Mertesacker

A Manchester United supporting friend of my mine will kindly and bravely be previewing Sunday's big game with me.  I hope you will give it a read and be gentle with him!

Arsenal 2 - 0 Liverpool Match Report: Football in Formula 1 speed

Well that will do nicely!  After a couple of home defeats in other competitions, the visit of Liverpool promised to be an important clash for both teams. At kick-off, following Chelsea's defeat, Arsenal and Liverpool were first and second in the league respectively and there was a lot of discussion on whether either team can stay in the hunt for the title.  The result and performance thankfully suggested it looks far more likely for Arsenal and the five point lead at the top of the table certainly gives us hope.

With a late injury to Jack Wilshere the team rather picked itself.  There were some concerns given the injury to Mathieu Flamini that we would struggle to contain the on-form partnership of Suarez and Sturridge but Mikel Arteta produced his finest display of the season in front of a solid back four to help keep an invaluable and impressive clean-sheet.  Given our outstanding offensive play and the two superb goals it would be easy to ignore Mikel's performance but a glance of the stats shows you just how impressive he was.  He completed a fantastic 100 passes, 29 more that the second highest (Özil) including a vital ball to Sagna in the build up to the first goal, he had 13 ball recoveries (equal most with Skrtel) and he won more tackles than anyone else on the pitch (7).  The only negative I can remember was letting Henderson run unchallenged into the box, although perhaps that was a deliberate ploy given how shambolic Henderson is.

He wasn't the only Spanish midfielder putting in his best performance since returning from injury though, no Sir.  Santi was superb and got a much deserved and beautifully taken goal in the 19th minute.  A well-weighted ball down the right flank found Sagna who pulled his cross back behind the near-post run of Olivier Giroud to the big target man Santi Cazorla, who played a clever headed one-two with the post before showing his class with a beautiful volley past Simon Mignolet.  It sounds silly and I know its a cliché but the first goal was always going to be vital and from then on our superior quality in the middle of the park paid dividends.  As Nick predicted in his excellent preview a few days ago, Arsenal's midfield were too good for Gerrard, Lucas and Henderson and I thought this was where the game was won.

A lot has been made of this Suarez and Sturridge partnership but yesterday Koscielny did a very good job of handling Suarez, excluding one moment where Suarez turned him and left him for dead.  Thankfully Sturridge was extremely poor - his most notable contributions being missing a free-header and taking an absurd dive in the first half, which annoyingly went unpunished by the referee.  The Arsenal fans sang: "Are you Suarez in disguise?"  They also gave the bitey, diving, racist, former transfer-target some more grief with chants of "You should've signed for a big club." 

Liverpool brought Coutinho on for Cissokho at half-time but he was returning from injury and did not look sharp at all.  We looked open at the beginning of the second half and our defensive performance, although encouraging, wasn't as convincing as the clean sheet suggested.  The game was taken out of Liverpool's reach by a quite superb strike from the best Welsh footballer plying his trade in England or Spain at the moment, Aaron Ramsey - he controlled a short-ball from Özil, looked up to find he had time and space 20 yards from goal and struck the sweetest of dipping half-volleys.  There isn't much left to be said about Ramsey this season - his transformation has been extraordinary and we are lucky to have him, and for that matter, a manager who was able to bring the best out of him.

It would take too long to single out all of the players who deserved praise today but I will say what a joy the team performance was to watch. I enjoyed Özil's statement that we played at "Formula 1 speed" and certainly there was no handbrake is sight.  Now let's hope the team continues to spoil us by keeping it up in two big games against Dortmund and Manchester United in the next week

Man of the Match: Mikel Arteta

Behind Enemy Lines: Arsenal - Liverpool Preview... From a Liverpool Perspective

Today we turn our attention to Saturday's top of the table clash with Liverpool and Nick Price has very kindly agreed to share his thoughts and predictions for the game with us.  He is a Liverpool fan who writes an excellent blog on The Premier League - highly recommended reading.  Also, be sure to give him a follow on twitter @pricenick.

Impressions of Arsenal
As always with Arsenal, they’re a terrific team to watch but there’s still doubts over whether or not they can sustain their run of form, especially when they hit a daunting set of fixtures. The Mesut Özil signature seems to have inspired confidence in the team and instilled pride and excitement through the stands, just what was needed after an otherwise embarrassing summer of inactivity despite having more cash to ignite than Monty Burns. He’s the best player to have been imported into the Premier League, and it’s testament to Arsène Wenger’s standing in the game and the way he sets his team out that he could convince him to come. 

But, and it’s a big but, his signing alone can’t cover the deficiencies in the squad. I’m a Mathieu Flamini fan but he’s not exactly a brilliant practitioner of what he does - he’s just a bloke who does his job well enough more times than not, which probably isn’t enough for a team competing for multiple trophies. Olivier Giroud is playing as beautifully as he looks, but when he gets injured or goes off the boil, who can come in and pick up the slack? Add to that, Wojciech Szczesny still looks as likely to pull out a stunning save as he does to have a complete brainfart, while the back four is merely alright. 

You’d expect Chelsea to step things up some more over the course of the season, and there’s clearly much more to come from the Manchester clubs, so Arsenal need to maintain their form and bank points now before the other big sides pick up the pace.

Thoughts on Brendan Rodgers
There are lots of parallels between Wenger and Rodgers, way back from them being no great shakes as professional players to the way they like to have their teams control games, and you can throw pretty much the same praise and criticism at both. 

They both embarrass themselves in press conferences, they both tend to make changes too late in the game when things aren’t going well, they both doggedly stick to their philosophies for better or worse, and they’re both offensively ugly; but, they both give youngsters a chance, they both want their players to keep the ball, and they both promote attractive football, which endears them to supporters. I like both, though many don’t. 

Rodgers is a good fit for and reflection of the status of the club at the moment. Liverpool can’t attract the very best players anymore and are having to reply on youngsters with big potential if they are to get back into the top four on a regular basis. I’d be as delighted as I would be surprised if Liverpool do qualify for the Champions League this season, but things are looking on the up and there’s a more discernible playing style and overall strategy under Rodgers than there ever was when Kenny Dalglish came back. 

Key battles
It’s all about the midfield. It’s not being too facetious to say Lucas Leiva, Steven Gerrard and Jordan Henderson would struggle against Ozil and two tuckered out koalas, but Liverpool’s three in the middle are disjointed and, in spite of the possession stats, are not exactly imposing themselves on games this season. Lucas and Gerrard in particular seem to get absolutely knackered around the hour mark, leaving Henderson to run around like a wild dog chasing the ball for the last third. It’s as perplexing as it is worrying, and any team that presses against those three can control the middle.

Giroud versus the back three of Sakho, Skrtel and Toure will also be fascinating. I can see one or two of those getting dragged about by midfield runners, leaving space for Özil et al to slide in a sexy through ball.
On the more positive side, Sturridge and Suarez will force chances versus any defensive combination you can pick, provided they don't get wound up.

What the game will tell us about Liverpool
If Liverpool get a win, then it’s not unreasonable to presume they’re capable of being direct rivals for the top four with Arsenal, but nothing more than that. A point would be a good result and suggest top four is an achievable goal but by no means something that should be expected. 

I can’t see Liverpool getting turned over, but a close defeat wouldn’t be unexpected nor necessitate great introspection.

Prediction
I’ll go for a score draw or a narrow Arsenal win with plenty of chances for both sides.

Arsenal 0-2 Chelsea Match Report: Meah

A short-lived Capital Cup run this year then. While this competition is clearly the least important of our priorities, Arsène showed he was in it to win it by fielding such a strong line-up. Cazorla and Rosicky got some much-needed game time and Jack Wilshere was given a chance to play himself into some form. The absence of an experienced 4th choice centre-back meant Koscielny started alongside the out of favour skipper but the surprise inclusion was Wales' best footballer, Aaron Ramsey.  While many expected him to be rested, his engine is mighty impressive and I'm pretty sure he could run all week without so much as a two-minute breather.

The game was an even one and I felt the score line flattered Chelsea. One man/brain-dead, bald ignoramus disagreed:

"Chelsea's depth is much superior to Arsenal's...A Chelsea reserve team have wiped the floor with Arsenal, they haven't shown anything.  Chelsea have been so superior to Arsenal tonight its almost been slightly embarrassing in how easily they have won." - Uncle Fester

There is a difference between not having squad-depth and managing to go top of the league with an injury list longer than a Marouane Chamakh goal-drought.  Why do Sky and other TV and Radio broadcasters feel they need to overpay so many ex-players and managers to share their insider knowledge on the game, when so few of them have anything remotely insightful to say? Get some journos on, that's what I say.

Unfortunately, the game hinged on a poor defensive error from Carl Jenkinson.  The young full-back did his best Nastasic impression and attempted to head a ball back to Fabianski, got it horribly wrong and his opposite number snuck in to slip the ball in off the post.  This is not the first time Carl has made this kind of mistake - he was guilty of a similar, less costly error earlier in the game and several times in pre-season.  It seems to me that these kind of errors can be avoided with work on the training ground and a few wise words from Steve Bould and the experienced defenders - something along the lines of "for fuck's sake don't do that again" maybe.

Had we not given away that goal, the game could have been quite different but Chelsea teams under Mourinho don't tend to give away leads.  They wrapped up the win with a right-footed thunderbastard from Juan Mata.

Although we came fairly close a few times through Cazorla, Ramsey and Monreal, we didn't really create much in the way of clear-cut chances and it was a frustrating evening. Arsenal fans of course vented their frustration almost exclusively at Nicklas Bendtner which was pretty tedious if you ask me.  Myiachi struggled to get into the game and even Park couldn't turn things round for us after his late introduction - nor could Ozil or Giroud.

It's hard to glean positives from such a disappointing result but I'll try - several players short on match-practise will be a little sharper for the experience, Santi did this and although I would have loved us to win the Capital One Cup, our injury list means that perhaps the extra games would have been a hindrance to our League and Champions League form.

I don't think that Ray 'stay on your feet' Wilkins' words should be taken too seriously (today or ever) and the real challenges lie ahead.  If we can beat Liverpool on Saturday then we will forget all about what happened last night.

Man of the match : Nacho Monreal

Golden Gunners: Tomas Rosicky - The Little Mozart

The second in our Golden Gunners series features a current player, our floppy-haired number 7, Tomas Rosicky.  My huge thanks go to Chris Light for his excellent guest contribution.  You can give him a follow here @Chrisml86.

Let me get one thing straight before we begin; Tomas Rosicky isn’t the best player Arsenal have ever had. He’s not the best midfielder we’ve ever had. To be honest, he’s probably not even in the top three Number 7’s to grace the club. It doesn’t matter though. He is by far and away my favourite player we’ve ever had. The only player that comes close is Edu. Mainly because I loved the way every single free kick he ever scored was via the back of an opponent’s head or Petit’s arse – honestly, check his stats, I’m not making this up (don’t bother - I made this up). Let’s address the obvious first; he’s made from Papier Mâché. This may have been OK if he had forged a career in Spain or Italy, but in Blighty it rains a lot. It rains kicks, tugs, hacks, late slide tackles, elbows to the abdomen and scissor tackles. He has spent a large majority of the last 2/3 seasons on the sidelines, but I don’t think many supporters could honestly tell you what injuries he’s suffered from. It’s been a series of never-ending niggles, bumps and strains. Some people use this against our moon faced hero, but they’re wrong. Tomas is just biding his time. He’s like that Nanny from that Nanny McPhee film. I forget what her name was. She was dog rough though, I remember that much. Anyway, my point was that he only appears when he is needed most. When the goin’ gets tough, Rozza gets goin’. Sagna got the plaudits for his game changing header against sp*rs, but it was Rosicky’s near post flick and open mouthed squatting celebration that really drove the team to victory. And even then, he didn’t want to score that goal. He’s better than a goal scorer, you see. He has put his name against one move and made it his own; the pre-assist. The man is king of the pre-assist. A term that didn’t really even exist 10 years ago, it’s crept into the vernacular of the average fan of the last few seasons as the need to analyse every facet of a player’s contribution to a performance has grown. His contribution to the run at the end of last season was huge. He injected drive and pace into the midfield. A rare player who chooses the pace others play at. If he wants a quick break, you best start running. The Little Mozart’s most important attribute to Arsenal is that he allows others to get into positions where they can genuinely affect the game. It’s not normally even an assist, it’s often receiving the ball just inside his own half, back to the opposition goal and then he spins. By God can he spin. The bloke has a short sprint acceleration that would embarrass players ten years younger than him. Once he’s skipped past the token Neanderthal hatchet man or the puffing utility player assigned to huff around the halfway line, he can then do what every greedy winger spends all their time screaming and gesticulating for; he releases them. A quick stab of the ball with the outside of the boot and the Czech Republic’s international captain has played them in. Cheers a lot, Rozza. The nature of his style of play is that it isn’t really backed up by bite size newspaper stats and lazy MOTD quips, put together by an underpaid and disinterested intern for a miserable and unimaginative Scotsman, pedalling the same half a dozen lines he has been for 20 odd years. Honestly, my Saturday evenings are have been like a fucking Groundhog day where all that’s changed has the kits have got tighter and I now sip a beer instead of an Ovaltine. Ovaltine’s amazing, by the way. I used to eat the powder instead of making a drink from it when I was kid, I recommend you try it. The other reason he deserves our love is the way he carries himself. He’s not overly comfortable with being in the limelight and despite the figurehead of the Czech international team for a number of years, he doesn’t pile out of clubs at 3am, run along the roof cars in Sunderland town Centre or get involved in too many spit roasts (haven’t seen one of them in the papers in a while, is that not fashionable anymore?). Super Tom’s quiet presence belies his luck with the ladies though. Unlike most Englishmen, he knows you can catch more flies with honey then vinegar (apologies for this crude analogy) and he uses his skills as a mind bending axeman to devastating effect. Check out what he did at the Czech player of the year awards. Can you imagine Steven Gerrard serenading Gareth Bale at the PFA awards? Although, given that he lamped a DJ on a night out for not playing his song, maybe he really is passionate about music? Revel in his understated talents. He may not be glamorous, he may not be cool, he won’t light up the red tops every week and Nike’ll never pick him as a front man. None of this matters though. He has amazing hair, uses the outside of his boot and listens to Metallica. It’s telling that he is so well liked by his teammates and colleagues. He’s clearly an influential role model at the club, with a lot of younger players openly stating their desire to emulate his style of playing the game. Swimming amongst a sea of money grabbing bottom feeders and parasitic fuckwits operating with little more thought going through their heads than to smash the ball in the net or nail the nearest tango’d hangaround slag, Tomas is a glorious salmon dancing his way upstream. He’s just a nice guy, yeah? And here is a sentence you should never have to read in an Arsenal blog post; I shall leave with the wise words of the sp*rs manager…